you've been occupying my mind much more these days, and i wonder why. sometimes i jolt up in the middle of the night, and what hits me is you. the extent (and duration) of my obsession is starting to scare me.

sometimes i can almost convince myself that i've cleaned you out, but it never is to last. sometimes it feels so strong, its almost like you're in the same room. somewhat similar to that old cliche of the shadow, sometimes it seems you're gone, but you never are.

i can't keep up with this roller coaster ride for much longer now. it's gone through one corkscrew too many, and i'm driving myself mad. not your fault, i know. mine. i, amazingly, single-handedly, crafted out every detail of this mess of what some people might call my life. i need you to come clean with me, draw me a clear line, and just throw the pie in my face already. i know what i expect to hear, but i just need to hear you say it. i want to get used to it, and get on with my life. lets make this a quick death, alright?

scribbled
1:30 AM